Facebook Connectivity

I came across a survey question today … and was asked if I’d purchased a (brand name removed to protect the innocent from the asinine) Facebook connect toothbrush recently. I did an internet search. This, apparently, is a real thing.

Not actual size, or an actual toothbrush

Not actual size, or an actual toothbrush

I, of course replied in the negative. Only losers connect their toothbrushes to Facebook these days. The absolute latest thing is used Q-tip Facebook/Twitter/Instargam connectivity.

I can track the quality and quantity of my earwax, (and get custom designed ‘tips-n-trix’™ to help me control any unusually heavy flow)  I can compare it to my social media friends earwax, have recommendations for earwax conditioners relayed directly to my Q-tips, as I’m using them via their bluetooth connectivity, and receive celebrity endorsements of the latest earwax technology right in my ears, all at no extra cost when I signed up for the ‘special, one-time-only, exclusive offer.

And I can rest easy, sure in the knowledge that my earwax, and indeed the entire Q-tip, is used in land reclamation projects in the South Seas to offset the effects of climate change.

I feel so good that my ethical everyday choices are making a difference in the world.

Actual Q-tips, probably

Actual Q-tips, probably

Note: No earwax was hurt during the making of this post. The Q-tips … fulfilled their destiny.

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