Kidnapped by Aliens


The other day I had a dentist appointment in Vancouver. I left Widder island with plenty of time to spare, because, for those who don’t live in parts of the world where it snows in Winter, roadworks happen in Summer, all Summer, everywhere. Construction on the main arterial road into Vancouver is winding up so my time/distance calculations were based on a very complex set of equations, and … luck.

I was doing fine, zipping along the shiny new six lane highway, when some idjit up ahead jammed his dump-truck, with the tray fully elevated, under one of the shiny new overpasses! (closely followed by two other idjits, probably gawping at the sight, crashing into each other) I only know this because it was still jammed there (as were the two cars) when I inched past in my single lane of traffic, moving at 0.04 kilometers per hour.

So, there I was on a freeway, with nary an exit in sight, surrounded on all sides by very large, and loud, semi-trailers, or tractor-trailers as they’re called here.

In front of me was a load of steel pipes, behind was what looked like a refrigerator truck, although I seldom got to see more than it’s very large chrome grille in my rear-view mirror. To my left was a fully loaded log hauler, (I really hoped those chains were as strong as they looked) and on my right some sort of construction equipment on a low-loader. I could see a patch of the bluest of blue sky through my open sunroof. (I’m sure there were other passenger cars on the freeway … somewhere)

I sat in my little black Nissan Versa, completely boxed in. The phrase ‘surreal nightmare’ came to my mind, so I ran with it and played the ‘what-if’ game. (I didn’t really have a lot of entertainment options at that point) What possible scenarios might result in me being boxed in like this? Of course! Alien abduction. Who knows how many people, (sitting in their black Nissan Versa’s, minding their own business) have been kidnapped in this very manner?

Heh. A writer’ll find a story in everything!

… A significant amount of time later …

I drove along the broad avenues and tree-lined streets where, this time last year, I rode my wonderful green bicycle hither, thither, and yon. (hard to imagine we’ve been on our island for eight months)

I saw ghosts of my ambling self; bicycle panniers (saddle bags) full of veggies from the local farmers markets; heading down to Kits Beach with Mrs Widds and a picnic hamper to watch the fireworks; riding along the seawall at Stanley Park, just because it was a beautiful day.

I saw ghosts of my past self everywhere in this neighbourhood.

Maybe I’d been kidnapped by time travelling aliens after all.


(love the Spanish subtitles)


“Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill” Johnny Carson, television host, comedian – 1925-2005 


P.S. I did make my dentist appointment, albeit late. They have a lot of out-of-town clients and were very understanding.