Returning

Shovelling snow then coming inside for a bit to thaw out

Shovelling snow then coming inside for a bit to thaw out

An interesting word, ‘returning’. When you break it down – ‘re’, and ‘turning’,  it feels like it’s more of another turn on a spiral, rather than coming back to the same spot on a circle.

Which is, of course, my preferred way of looking at Life, the Universe, and Everything, (to quote the famous, some might say, infamous, Douggie Adams) on this mortal coil.

And so, I have re-turned into 2023, hoping most fervently that it be less … perhaps ‘epic’, might be an appropriate descriptor … hoping it be less epic that the preceding year. (one can only sustain such epic-ness for only so long before the cardboard underpinnings of the entire mess collapse beneath one. Up to, and including, spending 3 days in December, at -37C temperatures without indoor running water – not an experience to be envied, I tell you)

This was before the ice turned into a solid sheet

This was before the ice turned into a solid sheet

 

A bit of a close-up - I never really understood what these looked like when I read about such things in books as a kid. Now I do

A bit of a close-up – I never really understood what these looked like when I read about such things in books as a kid. Now I do

There were days I wondered if I was going to make it. Not that I ever considered offing myself, but the question of whether I would make it, back here, back to writing, back to blogging, back to being a writer who was writing, reared its unsavoury head more than once. The tricky part about it was that I didn’t have, couldn’t find, an answer.

For most of the second half of last year, since we stopped being wanderers and, oddly enough, finally settled into our lovely house here, I was depressed. (situationally, rather than clinically) Which, wouldn’t’ve been a stretch to figure out given the barely submerged sub-text of my semi-infrequent blog posts during that time.

I’m slowly crawling out of that rather bleak place, thanks in part to the passage of time, the indomitable Mrs Widds, my own ability to self-critique, lots and lots of rest, a twisty sense of humour, and views from every window that are truly uplifting. (not necessarily in that order, but probably in that order)

Trying to capture the uncapturable deep blue colour of a full moon rising over a blanket of snow, with Venus, I think, a tiny sparkle of light, up there near the top of the frame

Trying to capture the uncapturable deep blue colour of a full moon rising over a blanket of snow, with Venus, I think, a tiny sparkle of light, up there near the top of the frame

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33 comments on “Returning

  1. Funny that stability would be the problem – but maybe that’s the point. Hope you’re back – I’m clueless enough to just realize you’ve been missing too long.

    Also, remember that it might be an atypical winter.

    I’m using my light box almost every morning – I get the Seasonal Affective Disorder.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      I’m back. 😀
      There wasn’t anywhere or any time to fall apart before then – too exhausted and too busy! … we’re an odd species, us humans, that’s for sure.
      I don’t think there are any ‘typical’, or ‘normal’, seasons left anymore. We just have to learn to roll with the ‘punches’.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very well done. Your temperatures make our current lack of heating rather insignificant

    Liked by 1 person

  3. quiall says:

    Where ever your journey takes you I hope you always return to us.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. sometimes to find, you first must be lost

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Welcome to 2023, a year which is strange because so much has happened to all of us we can’t imagine how 2023 will be.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. bone&silver says:

    I hear your exhaustion from dealing with 2022 (& the couple before that too). It takes a while to recover… & creativity can be the first casualty of exhaustion & stress. I hope this new year is easier on all of us, everywhere 🙏🏼, & yet, I’m not certain it can be 🙏🏼
    May you ease yourself back to small joys, perhaps one a day: a hug, a nice cuppa & cake, a snatch of birdsong, an exciting sentence 🙏🏼
    Blessings to you & the Mrs from Australia 🌈❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The Fraser Valley floods were just over a year ago, and after that you were on the road. No wonder you’ve been discombobulated! Hope things improve as spring approaches.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. TanGental says:

    I’m delighted that you have found your new horizon. May we all peep over it together…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. selizabryangmailcom says:

    Congrats at entering semi-permanence/permanence. I hope it’s comforting, fulfilling, and fruitful.
    The frost shots on the glass, btw: beyond amazing. They’re miraculous.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. acflory says:

    -hugs- So glad you’re back! The Widdy humour has been missed. As Bone & Silver said, ease yourself back to small joys. And don’t forget you’ve got friends here. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      Aww, thanks … I missed my humour too. 🙂 … however, as we are discovering, things that once were missing in this house, turn back up when they are good and ready, even if we looked in that exact same place a moment before. I love the personality quirks of old houses. 😀 … a bit like us old(er) humans. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • acflory says:

        -grin- I built my house so it’s only now starting to develop some quirks, some cute, some not so. Hopefully us old[er] humans will develop some cute quirks too. :p

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Ian Hutson says:

    Ah – you’re back. I’ve been wondering whether you would, or whether life wandering the slopes of Erebor, dressed in quilted bearskins, goat’s-buttocks hat, and strangling moose twice-daily would keep you away. In re the moose strangling I have the usual long-lens and satellite photographs of course, so just leave the money in the usual place and the negatives are yours.

    I must say that -37C sounds dramatic. We’d all have been happy here with something on the order of minus ten or twelve but no, there you go, over-egging the weather again. Indoor water is a luxury not missed until it’s gone. Bathing in whisky can be such a palaver, and one struggles to work up a proper shampoo-froth in most of the single-malts.

    Chin-chin.

    Like

    • Widdershins says:

      Moose strangling? T’aint no strangled mooses ’round there here parts, pardner, but the moolah is in the usual spot, just in case, 😀
      Re: whisky bathing – one ought not to light the hookah too close to the bath ‘water’ either. 🙂

      Like

  12. Suzanne says:

    It is hard to get back into any kind of writing practice (or blogging) now I think. I’m still going back over old work. The weather you are experiencing sounds extreme. It would be hard to keep your spirits up after all you went through last year. I’m glad things are turning around for you. The exhaustion of last year is just below the surface for me too. These are difficult times. Despite the cold your environment looks beautiful. I can’t say the same for the dump I moved to in a panic. I will definitely move on later in the year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      We had a stunning day today. Deep winter-blue sky with nary a cloud, the evergreen trees bedecked with shelves of snow, and the snow itself, gleaming in the sunlight. For all my emotional ups and downs, such beauty as this reminds me why I’m here. 🙂 … I hope the next stage of your Journey goes easier than the last bit too. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. “…one can only sustain such epic-ness for only so long.” My feelings exactly. Here’s to a much calmer, less chaotic 2023. And the views from your windows are beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

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