Staying Sane, And Finding Hope, In The Time Of The Plague

Yesterday I wrote this …

Yes, it is a plague, only we don’t call it that anymore do we? Far too many dire associations.

But aren’t times dire?

As more and more of the world, the global connectivity, shuts down, more countries shut their doors, and any ‘official’ number of cases need to be multiplied by a factor of ten to come anywhere near a realistic number, the word ‘dire’ comes more and more to mind.

… and that’s as far as I got.

I was planning on deconstructing the concept, and bring out the ‘hope’ in the title of this post, but one minute I was sitting at my computer writing, and the next I was sitting in the glorious sunshine in our backyard (sunshine at last!) sobbing my heart out.

I broke, no lasting damage done, but I broke.

And it’s not that I haven’t been looking after myself both physically and emotionally, but it wasn’t enough without something to empty my full-to-the-brim-with-emotions, heart.

Sometimes you have to sit in the sunshine and cry, big diaphragm-ache-inducing tears.

At some point it will happen to you too, if it hasn’t already, and that’s a good thing. We can’t go around feeling like an exposed and raw nerve forever.

Chuck Wendig wrote in his latest post, ‘…We’re all in mourning from the death of normalcy…’ In his wonderful Chuck Wendig way, he spells it out so clearly, that he’s feeling, ‘… definitely, absolutely, unfuckwithably not okay…’Β  Go read the whole piece, it’s worth it.

After yesterday my chest doesn’t feel as though it’s going to crack under the strain. I’ve been weeping on and off since then, at the oddest things, so that I smile as I weep. (I’ll be OK, just not quite yet)

Point in case, cats and dominos …


41 comments on “Staying Sane, And Finding Hope, In The Time Of The Plague

  1. A.S. Akkalon says:

    Sending hugs. We can get through this together.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sue Vincent says:

    I don’t think we have to maintain the stiff upper lip. There is probably more strength involved in accepting how we feel and letting the safety valve release the pressure in a natural way than in waiting till it blows.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I can’t cry. The aftermath of the adrenaline takes me days to get rid of. I have had to learn to handle emotions without the ‘cleansing good cry.’ Another thing lost to the ME/CFS.

    I’m sorry you had to – but I really understand, and all I can tell you is that the sun will rise tomorrow – even if you can’t see it. And humans will prevail – even as we lose a few of the fragile ones – and some of the seemingly-healthy ones.

    Regular flu deaths are down. Traffic deaths are down. The canals in Venice show us it doesn’t take forever and billions of dollars to clean the water – the water will clean itself if we stop stuffing it with garbage.

    These are good things to learn: many things wrong with our world ARE fixable.

    Gentle hugs to you and Mrs. Widds.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ian Hutson says:

    Probably the most succinct way to describe the general feeling in England is… that we all miss BREXIT. How cute and cuddly and nonsensically pantomimical (new word) BREXIT was when compared to slow, slow, uncertain Armageddon.

    We’ve been stopped in our tracks. All of those things that I was doing – probably pointless. All of those things that I was planning – entirely uncertain now, for the foreseeable.

    One effect has been to expose those humans with high ostrich-content DNA, the little bureaucrats carrying on scratching at their ledgers and issuing edicts, the folk demanding access to the fetid atmosphere of pubs, those NOT wondering where their food will come from in a month’s time.

    A chap six boats along the canal for me has the damned thing, although thankfully he’s younger and it doesn’t appear to be the killing version. He’s downwind of me today, although for the …week… before he was upwind… Trying for a balance between checking whether he needs//wants anything and letting him be ill in peace.

    I don’t know, really I don’t. Life only really trains us to cope with a very narrowly-defined life, this episode just shows how ordered and confined (and inter-dependent) our notions of modern life are.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I definitely feel the need to cry. I get angry too, nobody around me seems to be taking this damn thing seriously and are still taking themselves off to the pub and parties. I get so angry. Then sad. Then the beautiful weather and my garden seduces me and I calm down again. Pace ourselves, it’s going to be a long haul. Sending you love.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ellen Hawley says:

    Skipping over the serious bits (sorry) to the cats: Some people surely have too much time on their hands, but where can I get hold of those multicolored dominoes? I’m pretty sure I need a set. Or several sets.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A thoroughly honest post. I am amazed at how the cats keep the dominoes flowing.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. quiall says:

    That was brilliant! It put a smile on my face. We are not alone. I am an unrepentant optimist, we will get through this.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Suzanne says:

    S,uch beautiful honesty. There is so much to grieve at present. The heart centre is crackjng open and ancient griefs are pouring out – released at last so that the new can come in. The dying of the old is painful. There is no avoiding it and no way of knowing how long it will take in society. ‘ It will be ok – just not quite yet., ‘ πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I think many of us are going to have a good long cry by the end of this. And hopefully, at the end of it, we’ll be able to hug again and celebrate the joys of friendship and family. Thanks for the cat video, too. It’s important to laugh and be amazed and get outside and grow things, breathe fresh air and face the sun. I hope you’re doing a little better.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. selizabryangmailcom says:

    Crying helps. Like when Meg Ryan suddenly started crying in “Courage Under FIre” and all the male soldiers were staring at her in horror and she snapped, “It’s just stress, asshole!”

    Or in real life, I when I cry at work. Fortunately, I’m facing a wall in a corner of the room. πŸ™‚

    The best word of the day, though: “unfuckwithably.”
    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Brilliant, loved it .

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Admin says:

    I think tears are necessary to let the soul breathe. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. We just finished watching Olly Olly Oxen Free (1978) with Katherine Hepburn. Her character, two young boys, and a collie are scared as they fly across the sky in an old hot-air balloon through heavy fog. They embraced their fear by screaming it out a few times. They felt better for it. πŸ™‚ Hugs all around.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. acflory says:

    Damn you! Just spent way too long looking at one cat video after the other, but I’m smiling. Hang in there Widds. -hugs-

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Mesmerized by the cat video. Obviously too much time on my hands. πŸ˜… We’ll get through this……..well most of us anyway. πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      Hi there πŸ™‚ … welcome to my corner of the interwebz … I loved how the tabby was cool about the whole thing, and the black-and-white was having fun pretending the dominoes were meeces! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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