Facebook Connectivity

I came across a survey question today … and was asked if I’d purchased a (brand name removed to protect the innocent from the asinine) Facebook connect toothbrush recently. I did an internet search. This, apparently, is a real thing.

Not actual size, or an actual toothbrush

Not actual size, or an actual toothbrush

I, of course replied in the negative. Only losers connect their toothbrushes to Facebook these days. The absolute latest thing is used Q-tip Facebook/Twitter/Instargam connectivity.

I can track the quality and quantity of my earwax, (and get custom designed ‘tips-n-trix’β„’ to help me control any unusually heavy flow) Β I can compare it to my social media friends earwax, have recommendations for earwax conditioners relayed directly to my Q-tips, as I’m using them via their bluetooth connectivity, and receive celebrity endorsements of the latest earwax technology right in my ears, all at no extra cost when I signed up for the ‘special, one-time-only, exclusive offer.

And I can rest easy, sure in the knowledge that my earwax, and indeed the entire Q-tip, is used in land reclamation projects in the South Seas to offset the effects of climate change.

I feel so good that my ethical everyday choices are making a difference in the world.

Actual Q-tips, probably

Actual Q-tips, probably

Note: No earwax was hurt during the making of this post. The Q-tips … fulfilled their destiny.

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25 comments on “Facebook Connectivity

  1. I can see connecting your toothbrush to wifi (so you can find it), but FB isn’t necessary. If you saw the commercial Amazon ran during the Superbowl (a lot of ifs), there was a list of products that didn’t work out, and one was a toothbrush – connected to Alexa. It didn’t work if the user closed his mouth around the brush. Ditto FB.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. jenanita01 says:

    Does this have anything to do with the fact that I no longer have a working link between WP and FB?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. As far as crack-up spoofs go, this is real A-list material!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. TanGental says:

    Ah that explains so much about the fact my kettle tried to swipe right on my tablet and got burned. Apparently I have an intelligent appliance which is great as the user is borderline moron.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A what a who a why? Lol. My head is spinning. Some people on FB are so bizarre. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. hahahah. I wonder what the person who was on top of that project really felt about the importance of her job.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Delightfully absurd. πŸ˜³πŸ™„πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. When I had my ears cleared of wax some while back I was told one use of Q tips was too many

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Awww… another way to define your place in the pecking order of yours peers…who’d a thunk!

    Liked by 1 person

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