Conversation with my Sewing Machine

Mrs Widds is a frequent visitor to our local town’s many thrift stores. One day she returned with a fluffy bath towel. Up until that moment I’d never understood why extra large towels were called ‘sheets’. This one could’ve served as a coverlet for an entire raft of king-sized beds with room for a day-bed or two.

Unable to wield it as designed, Mrs Widds continued using her usual towels, with the proviso that one day we might find a use for our monster towel.

And so, it languished, unloved and unappreciated, in the linen cupboard for several months, until a curious thing happened. One by one our hand towels began to disappear, until we were down to one. Which, as you can imagine, was not a satisfactory state of affairs at all.

Unwilling to spend money on thrift-store replacements, (which were more expensive than the full sized towel counterparts – why is it that the less there is of a thing, the more one has to pay for it?) Mrs Widds, in her inimitable problem-solving style suggested we attack the monster towel and reduce it to four un-monster-sized towels.

As we’re both of the ‘re-purpose, reuse, recycle’ persuasion, this was the perfect solution.

Out came the scissors and ‘voila’ four (generously sized) hand-towels … that needed hemming … with a sewing machine … which was … somewhere.

“Oh, sewing machine? Where are you?”

“Mumgph-urgllbuyf.”

Ok, It’s been a while since I last used my sewing machine, long before we built our shed last year, and we’ve rearranged all the storage spaces in our little cottage at least twice since then.

There’s an assortment of beds it could be under, and shelving units it could be in, at least two closets, a sideboard, and the coat nook near the front door … at least I’m sure it isn’t outside in either of the sheds … ** dashes outside to check sheds** … nope, not in the sheds.

“Ah, well, yes. I thought you might be hiding behind Myrtle (the Moose) and the Love Bug”

“Ah, well, yes. I thought you might be hiding behind Myrtle (the Moose) and the Love Bug”

“MUGMHPHMH!”

(translation - “Get me OUT of here!”)

(translation – “Get me OUT of here!”)

“What are you doing in there, with the paper shredder?”

“… …”

“Hmm. Well. What can one say? That’s paper shredders for you.”

-oOo-

…some time later …

“Avengers … I mean, Materials, Assemble!”

“Very funny. I suppose you still remember where everything goes?”

“Very funny. I suppose you still remember where everything goes?”

I half expected the towel to buy into the conversation, with pointed comments about the scissors, but no. Just between you and I, it probably decided to keep a low profile. The sewing machine was on a roll.

It ‘tutted’ in the background as I tried to remember how to thread the needle with the handy-dandy- built-in needle threader, (which worked like a treat once I remembered how it worked) and ‘yea’ed’ or ‘nay’ed’ as I made my way through the 50 different stitch options that its merry little computer innards could produce on command. (there’s more computing power in this machine than the entire Apollo Space Program

“Bugger! I can’t remember how to dial up this stitch I want to use. Maybe if I just …”

“Try using the manual.”

“What?”

“Try the manual.”

“It’s way over the other side of the room with all the other manuals. What if I …”

“The manual!”

“But …”

“Manual!”

“The Law of Diminishing Returns doesn’t really count in this instance, you know.”

“I AM THE LAW!”

“Oh, very droll. Judge Dredd reference. Touché.”

“Hee, hee.”

“No matter where I start it’s going to be the very last one, isn’t it?”

“No matter where I start it’s going to be the very last one, isn’t it?”

-oOo-

“Why does one, very annoying, sewing machine need five feet?

"I know, I know, ‘The Manual.’"

“I know, I know, ‘The Manual.’”

Usually I’m good with manuals, but I think this was a matter of dignity. I’d been using sewing machines since I was about 11 starting with an old Singer treadle machine. The fundamentals were the same, but as with all things technological, the ‘new-and-improved’ brigade tweaked and twaddled everything until common sense went out the window.

“Stop justifying and get on with it!”

“Oh look, it shows what type of foot I need and how to do the stitch.”

“Oh look, it shows what type of foot I need and how to do the stitch.”

-oOo-

Merrily we sew along, sew along, sew along. Merrily we sew along … hmm, the bobbin’s getting low. We’re not going to run out of cotton are we?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“SHUT UP!”

“Told you.” “But it was a close call.” “Srlsy?”

“Told you.”
“But it was a close call.”
“Srlsy?”

-oOo-

Finally! All four hand towels neatly hemmed and folded, ready for action.

“We worked so well together.” “You’re delusional and I need a holiday. Put me back in my cupboard.”

“We worked so well together.”
“You’re delusional and I need a holiday. Put me back in my cupboard.”

 

-oOo-

The finished product, ready for action! “And I couldn’t’ve done it without my Friendly Neighbourhood Sewing Machine.” “Just shoot me!”

The finished product, ready for action!
“And I couldn’t’ve done it without my Friendly Neighbourhood Sewing Machine.”
“Just shoot me!”

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35 comments on “Conversation with my Sewing Machine

  1. jenanita01 says:

    And there was I, thinking I was the only one with a sewing machine with a death wish…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post. Most inventive idea. No wonder you stuck the machine in a cupboard out of the way. I only use a fraction of the features in my computer, and even less the phone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      Me too. I do phone calls, texts and take pictures with my phone … and use my computer to play a few games, use Scrivener software and Word to write, Outlook for my emails, the internet connection for all things interwebz-y, and that’s about it …
      … although I did play with ‘Paint’ this time to get that dialogue balloon on the first picture. That was fun. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Roda says:

    Awesome!! I have my Grandma’s singer machine. It is heavy and robin egg blue! I am afraid I would never be able to figure out the new ones!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Suzanne says:

    As an ex-sewer with a machine hidden somewhere in this house I loved this. The new machines these days do have a mind of their own.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sue Vincent says:

    I’d have given up and sewn them by hand… me and machines don’t get on 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love the recycle, repurpose, reuse mentality. Now that you have the sewing machine unearthed and set up and working, what’s next??

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Somehow or other, I never taught youngest daughter how to sew. She says she would like the sewing machine (as we move cross-country). She wants to sew cosplay gowns and such. I told her she can have my machine, but should take a sewing course at, probably, the local sewing machine store. It’s not that easy – and I can’t teach her that quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jay says:

    I was worried when you talked to a sewing machine.
    And then the sewing machine talked back.
    Honestly, I’m just glad he had a friendly paper shredder to cuddle up with.
    And for the record, my big butt loves bath sheets!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Self-threader thing had me wanting a new machine, then you showed the many feet and the manuals. Then the panel with all those little icons. I’m very happy with this 1970ish machine. I finally stopped being scared of zigzag stitch at #1 position.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. catdownunder says:

    That provided some much needed light relief – thankyou!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I want a sewing machine that does self-threading. *pout* Getting the the thread into that little tiny hole seems to be harder by the year …

    Liked by 1 person

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