Menstruation Blues

This morning I was sitting up in bed with a pot of tea and a hot water bottle, because I’m menstruating, for the first time in five years.

I’m supposed to be POST menopausal. I have the hairs to prove it.

You ever wonder where the hairs on your legs go as you age? I know where. Ears, chin, and one very fine one that pops up in a different part of your body immediately after you eliminate it from somewhere else. Apparently this is normal.

Also ‘normal’ is menstruating like this … unless it ‘continues’.

How the hell does one define which side of the ‘continues’ continuum one is on?

Is it the number of tampons one goes through in a day? Which incidentally I don’t recommend using (after a five year break) without some sort of preparation. (the details of which I won’t go into here because even for a post as ‘menstrual-y’ as this one, that might be just too much information)

Is it a compilation of the kinds of emotional meltdowns one can go through into a single hour? Perhaps calibrated to the number of hankies one uses?

Or the intensity of cramps? Which sucked when I was 15, sucked when I was 35, and damn me if they don’t still suck at 58!

**pours Self another cup of tea, whimpers at Mrs Widds for another hot water bottle, and slides further under the covers**

I’m consigning the rest of today to the ‘hell-and-gone’ basket, and …

**looks our the window with a pale and wan melancholia**

…well … would you look at that? It’s raining … again …

**

‘Menstruation Blues’ is the title of a song by Robyn Archer. If you’ve never heard of her, go check her out. (who could resist such a cheeky grin?)

**

There are so many sad (and melancholic) songs about rain, and I couldn’t go past my favourite diva of all time … the Divine Miss M

 

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39 comments on “Menstruation Blues

  1. Ibuprofen. 800 mg every four hours. I could swallow them dry in the car if I needed to.

    Saved my life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sue Vincent says:

    Hysterectomy at 40… best thing EVER 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. jenanita01 says:

    Well, if anyone can cheer you up, it will be Bette! and I hope it vanishes as fast as it appeared!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Heavens to Betsy, I hope that doesn’t happen to me! What a disappointment that would be. I’d like to continue saving money on the hideously Tory-taxed tampons. It’s more than five years for me but I guess anything is possible. Hope it’s easing as we speak.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      Heh, heh, heh …. ‘disappointment’ isn’t quite the word I used. 🙂 It’s easing down to annoying globs every once in a while.

      Only last year our pollies voted to eliminate the tax on tampons and pads. About bloody time too.

      Like

  5. adeleulnais says:

    Oh God, that really sucks. I hope it finishes soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. M.E. Garber says:

    Bloody Hell! (pun intended) Hope good ol’ Aunt Flo passes–soonest!–and stays gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, no! What a drag. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I didn’t even know that could happen. That’s just awful. That would be like waking up four years from now to find I was married to my ex again 😦 I hope Flo packs up soon and realizes that goodbye isn’t a temporary leave.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Will you be checking it out? I hope so, especially if you’re still spotting after 2 weeks. I’ve been monitoring postmenopausal bleeding for 12 years due to polyps. This year, the result came back with the word “precancerous” which means a hysterectomy in a month. On the fun side, it’ll be done with robotic technology.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Kalaya T Camren says:

    thats a real bugger.
    i’ve had an hysterectomy … if it happened to me… i’d tract the Dr down and sue!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jay says:

    Today I can totally commiserate. It seems that menopause is happening later and later – we used to at least look forward to aging for that one reason alone!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      What’s even worse, I thought for the last five years I was there!

      … when I think of all the tampons I’ve … hmm-mm let’s do a few sums shall we? … 41 years of menses, on average 13 per year, about six days long, using (averaging out heavy and light flows) 6 tampons per day … equals nineteen thousand one hundred and eighty eight tampons!!!

      … No wonder I had a hissy fit this time. My vagina and I do NOT approve!

      Like

  12. I’m 58 too. Don’t jinx me!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. selizabryangmailcom says:

    I can see that this is a much older post, but I had to check it out. The title was too alluring. I was in agony in my 40s until I had a uterine ablation!
    And now……it’s going on seven years with the f***ing hot flashes. All the other women I question about this shrug and say, “Didn’t last long, a few years, they disappeared.”
    How NICE for you.
    They’re the worst. Can’t sleep. Sweating at work in the middle of a blasting air conditioner.
    I always say The Creator, whoever or whatever it was, must have been off their meds when they came up with BOTH menstruation AND menopause. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 🙂
    Thanks for listening. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      I had to go back and read that post, I’d completely forgotten all about it.
      Seven years of menopausal symptoms … now that’s a definition of hell.
      I reckon someone got the design wrong there. I’ve always thought that a woman should not be able to breed unless she really, really, really want to, and then and only then does her womb do its thing. Oh yeah, and she doesn’t need sperm to do it! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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