Menstruation Blues

This morning I was sitting up in bed with a pot of tea and a hot water bottle, because I’m menstruating, for the first time in five years.

I’m supposed to be POST menopausal. I have the hairs to prove it.

You ever wonder where the hairs on your legs go as you age? I know where. Ears, chin, and one very fine one that pops up in a different part of your body immediately after you eliminate it from somewhere else. Apparently this is normal.

Also ‘normal’ is menstruating like this … unless it ‘continues’.

How the hell does one define which side of the ‘continues’ continuum one is on?

Is it the number of tampons one goes through in a day? Which incidentally I don’t recommend using (after a five year break) without some sort of preparation. (the details of which I won’t go into here because even for a post as ‘menstrual-y’ as this one, that might be just too much information)

Is it a compilation of the kinds of emotional meltdowns one can go through into a single hour? Perhaps calibrated to the number of hankies one uses?

Or the intensity of cramps? Which sucked when I was 15, sucked when I was 35, and damn me if they don’t still suck at 58!

**pours Self another cup of tea, whimpers at Mrs Widds for another hot water bottle, and slides further under the covers**

I’m consigning the rest of today to the ‘hell-and-gone’ basket, and …

**looks our the window with a pale and wan melancholia**

…well … would you look at that? It’s raining … again …

**

‘Menstruation Blues’ is the title of a song by Robyn Archer. If you’ve never heard of her, go check her out. (who could resist such a cheeky grin?)

**

There are so many sad (and melancholic) songs about rain, and I couldn’t go past my favourite diva of all time … the Divine Miss M

 

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37 comments on “Menstruation Blues

  1. Ibuprofen. 800 mg every four hours. I could swallow them dry in the car if I needed to.

    Saved my life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sue Vincent says:

    Hysterectomy at 40… best thing EVER 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. jenanita01 says:

    Well, if anyone can cheer you up, it will be Bette! and I hope it vanishes as fast as it appeared!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Heavens to Betsy, I hope that doesn’t happen to me! What a disappointment that would be. I’d like to continue saving money on the hideously Tory-taxed tampons. It’s more than five years for me but I guess anything is possible. Hope it’s easing as we speak.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      Heh, heh, heh …. ‘disappointment’ isn’t quite the word I used. 🙂 It’s easing down to annoying globs every once in a while.

      Only last year our pollies voted to eliminate the tax on tampons and pads. About bloody time too.

      Like

  5. adeleulnais says:

    Oh God, that really sucks. I hope it finishes soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. M.E. Garber says:

    Bloody Hell! (pun intended) Hope good ol’ Aunt Flo passes–soonest!–and stays gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, no! What a drag. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I didn’t even know that could happen. That’s just awful. That would be like waking up four years from now to find I was married to my ex again 😦 I hope Flo packs up soon and realizes that goodbye isn’t a temporary leave.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Will you be checking it out? I hope so, especially if you’re still spotting after 2 weeks. I’ve been monitoring postmenopausal bleeding for 12 years due to polyps. This year, the result came back with the word “precancerous” which means a hysterectomy in a month. On the fun side, it’ll be done with robotic technology.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      Wow, a robot-‘rectomy! … I had a pap smear/D&C last year and had some polyps removed, so I’ll absolutely be mentioning this to my Dr next visit, and if it lingers, sooner. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Kalaya T Camren says:

    thats a real bugger.
    i’ve had an hysterectomy … if it happened to me… i’d tract the Dr down and sue!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jay says:

    Today I can totally commiserate. It seems that menopause is happening later and later – we used to at least look forward to aging for that one reason alone!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Widdershins says:

      What’s even worse, I thought for the last five years I was there!

      … when I think of all the tampons I’ve … hmm-mm let’s do a few sums shall we? … 41 years of menses, on average 13 per year, about six days long, using (averaging out heavy and light flows) 6 tampons per day … equals nineteen thousand one hundred and eighty eight tampons!!!

      … No wonder I had a hissy fit this time. My vagina and I do NOT approve!

      Like

  12. I’m 58 too. Don’t jinx me!

    Liked by 1 person

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